Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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