At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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