I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize