so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize