I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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