i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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