Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
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It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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