pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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