We won't sleep together?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize