sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize