now i know why i became what i already was.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
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I woke up to her vacumming the grass
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
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I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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