Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize