Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
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I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
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Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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