Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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