i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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