i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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