I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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