I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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