By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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