Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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