Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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