Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize