i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
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