sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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