Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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