I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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