Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

I can't find my pants or my car

(813): View more from Florida

I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...

(561): View more from Florida

ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.

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(813): I can't find my pants or my car (813): I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell... (561): ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal. http://tfl.nu/nq8v

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(417): View more from Missouri

You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?

(573): View more from Missouri

You can't be serious.

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(417): You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right? (573): You can't be serious. http://tfl.nu/cmch

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off

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(717): he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off http://tfl.nu/z28p

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I hate having morals and standards the next morning.

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(732): I hate having morals and standards the next morning. http://tfl.nu/3tqs

Replies (9) Good night (2619) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
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(225): View more from Louisiana

i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels

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(225): i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels http://tfl.nu/zg26

Replies (58) Good night (730) Bad night (8104) Order T-Shirt
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(402): View more from Nebraska

They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"

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(402): They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman" http://tfl.nu/zber

Replies (36) Good night (3665) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.

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(920): So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again. http://tfl.nu/54yy

Replies (18) Good night (1811) Bad night (6096) Order T-Shirt
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(620): View more from Kansas

In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.

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(620): In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night. http://tfl.nu/xvxy

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(207): View more from Maine

Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.

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(207): Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers. http://tfl.nu/gf42

Replies (8) Good night (3590) Bad night (803)
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(+61): View more from Australia

She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?

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(+61): She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental? http://tfl.nu/sd8n

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(248): View more from Michigan

maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another

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(248): maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another http://tfl.nu/vil6

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(515): View more from Iowa

I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.

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(515): I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion. http://tfl.nu/z0x4

Replies (2) Good night (685) Bad night (176)
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(+61): View more from Australia

We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house

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(+61): We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house http://tfl.nu/x0d1

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(816): View more from Missouri

Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.

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(816): Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on. http://tfl.nu/u2o1

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(406): View more from Montana

After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.

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(406): After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women. http://tfl.nu/36ea

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