Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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