he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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