The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He shit in the fireplace
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize