do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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