I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
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Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
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I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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