How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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