what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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