??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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