Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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