Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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