Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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