Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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