He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
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I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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