I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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