this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize