we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
This show inspires me to have sex in space
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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