I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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