I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
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she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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