okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
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you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
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Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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