So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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