Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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