i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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