Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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